someone get that fucking seahorse.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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