The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
farters have to be the big spoon...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize