smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
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I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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