Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
