How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
