So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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