If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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