spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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