So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
