Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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