Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
