The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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