I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize