I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
