I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
