You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize