No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
