; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize