Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.