theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
