i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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