return my video game
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Two words: blizzard sex
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
