god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
