tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
