Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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