no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
