are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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