There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
