Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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