It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
