let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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