so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
