my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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