I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
