You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
