well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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