her vagine was all disorganized.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
