trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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