): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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