Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

  (1-619): View more from California

  You literally just made my flesh crawl.

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  (619): I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter. (1-619): You literally just made my flesh crawl. http://tfl.nu/h7tg
  Replies (32) Good night (2162) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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  (+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir
  Replies (39) Good night (4333) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
  Replies (14) Good night (6292) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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  (250): I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official. http://tfl.nu/pkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (5824) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
  Replies (35) Good night (5645) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

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  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6750) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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  (+45): Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired. http://tfl.nu/rbaa
  Replies (9) Good night (5231) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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  (804): Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster. http://tfl.nu/ns19
  Replies (10) Good night (3763) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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  (414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud
  Replies (4) Good night (3350) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

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  (713): I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you http://tfl.nu/33e4
  Replies (7) Good night (626) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.

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  (415): The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes. http://tfl.nu/qcrt
  Replies (4) Good night (1393) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge

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  (208): You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge http://tfl.nu/7xq9
  Replies (8) Good night (571) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"

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  (312): We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?" http://tfl.nu/n4cr
  Replies (10) Good night (792) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Sweet, got a date tomorrow night

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  (678): She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet. (1-678): Sweet, got a date tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/04fq
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space

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  (506): Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space http://tfl.nu/dvpz
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (186)

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