is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off