i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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