Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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  (513): direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN http://tfl.nu/vd6u
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (3582)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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  (314): 96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks http://tfl.nu/s1i2
  Replies (12) Good night (4968) Bad night (1086)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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  (412): my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed http://tfl.nu/3q3u
  Replies (17) Good night (1197) Bad night (4364)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (83) Good night (34665) Bad night (1775)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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  (913): When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking. http://tfl.nu/uh2g
  Replies (14) Good night (1314) Bad night (4700)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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  (541): I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums. http://tfl.nu/gqon
  Replies (6) Good night (3210) Bad night (996)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties

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  (416): i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties http://tfl.nu/mxe3
  Replies (9) Good night (2926) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2740) Bad night (1393)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (1190) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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  (603): Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight http://tfl.nu/77hx
  Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.

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  (248): We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments. http://tfl.nu/nct0
  Replies (9) Good night (774) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT

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  (404): Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT http://tfl.nu/tfsq
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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  (540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy
  Replies (11) Good night (562) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

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  (519): The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING" http://tfl.nu/92g2
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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  (406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (412)

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