She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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