i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?