I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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