If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
