My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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