i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
