How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
