Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
