I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
