i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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