Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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