And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
