Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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