i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
