My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize