it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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