There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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