She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize