im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
