..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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