Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
