Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
smell my finger.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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