I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
