so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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