Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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