Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
