Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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