true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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