He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Everything about him screamed your future.
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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