hell yes lets make some ravioli
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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