I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
